1. If you never think about the pain that someone has caused you, does that mean you have forgiven them? (No, you have to actually do it.)
2. If someone hurts you, and you don’t admit it or tell someone, are they forgiven? (No, you’re in denial).
If you decide to forget about the fact that someone hurt you, is that enough? (No, forgetting is not a true test of forgiveness).
If you let someone “off the hook” are you forgiving them? (No, excusing is not forgiving them).
Principles of Forgiveness:
- Face the problem squarely, with honesty, any memories must be faced.
- Accept responsibility for clearing up the matter. The blame must be taken off others, and ownership for the situation recognized.
- Forgive yourself. Healing cannot begin until genuine forgiveness is exercised toward yourself.
- Practice forgiveness.
- Forgiveness is a gift for you and no one else.
- Be serious when you seek healing for your hurts. Being healed means that you will no longer be able to use the incident for a crutch.
- Ask YHWH for help in prayer. He can cause you to find the real needs of your heart.
If You Decide Not to Forgive
Think of yourself as carrying a backpack full of nasty stuff? Anger, frustration, depression, un-forgiveness, low self-esteem and rejection.
You bring all this and more into any new relationship because you didn’t work it out in the last one.
- You’re going to have a really messy nasty emotional backpack.
- You are going to have some major roadblocks.
- You’re not going to be prepared to go around them.
- You will drive through anyway and wreck your life.
In any relationship it takes two people. Some are more trust worthy than others. Where are you? It’s much easier to look at the other person’s problems rather than yours. Blame them! Point the finger! This takes the focus off yourself and on to the other person! This would be a real mistake!
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14,15
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25
Janet Gore HeartofTorah.com